At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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