batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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