I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
