so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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