I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
