His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
