i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
