I don't think brook has ever known best
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
