Only a mothe r could love this liver
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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