Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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