8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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