I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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