Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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