...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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