I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
