u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
