what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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