why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
