somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
