she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
