I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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