I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
