did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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