he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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