i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
