I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
