i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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