Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
