Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
