I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
