Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
