i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
