I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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