So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
