I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
