i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
