I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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