you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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