i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
