No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
