Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
