The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
