i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
