So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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