hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
