He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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