It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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