You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
