this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
