Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
